If you're here, there's a Mamma who's very lucky to have you as part of her tribe.

I am so blessed with a thoughtful tribe of Mammas (and Pappas) both near and far who offered their support in myriad ways following my diagnosis, including taking time out of their busy lives to help make mine a little easier during active treatment. If you are looking for ways to lighten the load for someone you love as they navigate life during treatment, here are some of my personal recommendations based on what was helpful to me during that phase of my Breast Cancer experience.

What Best Describes Your Capacity to Help?

Organize a Meal Train

I had a friend who volunteered to create and manage a Meal Train for me. The knowledge that my family would have dinner taken care of in case I wasn't able to prepare (or feeling up to preparing) myself lifted a weight off of my shoulders, and having one person (who was not ME) coordinating those details was such a help.

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Help With The Kids

Ask what day you can come pick up the kids and take them to your house after school through dinner. Or what time during a weekend day you could pick up the kids and take them to the park or to lunch. Some quiet time for your loved one without the guilt of feeling like their kids aren't getting enough attention is a real gift.

Accompany Your Person To An Appointment

Perhaps your loved one has a partner who is willing and able to attend appointments, or maybe they don't. Maybe they have a partner, but the partner is unavailable due to work or other obligations. Maybe there's an appointment your loved one doesn't feel they need to "burden" their partner with attending but deep down having someone with them would be a relief. You can fill that void. Ask your friend if there is an upcoming appointment you can pick them up and take them to, whether they logistically need the help or whether you can be there with them to provide (the oft harder to express or ask for) moral support and/or distraction.

Tackle An Errand or a Project Around The House

This of course depends on your loved one's comfort level, but ask if there is a project you can tackle that might bring joy or help check something off of your loved one's undoubtedly mounting "to-do" list. Yard work? Put up or put away holiday decorations? Strip the kids' beds and wash some sheets or towels? Maybe even it's making a run to return something or pick up a drive-up order. Let your loved one know when you have time and that you'd love to use it to tackle something on their to do list. ("Hey, I have a couple hours free on Thursday afternoon, and I would like to use that to help you with something you need. What errand can I run for you? Is there something around the house you'd like done that I can cross off your list? What would be helpful for you? I'm at your service, and I mean it!")

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I know how much effort it takes to get a complete meal on the table for my own family, so I know this offering of meals from my tribe to me and my family during my treatment was a labor of love.